A look back at my decade

Looking back at the 20-teens, I realized my accomplishments in life, failures, loves and life-path.

Heading into the Roaring 20’s, I took the opportunity to have a look back at my life over the past 10 years and create the timeline of events, the accomplishments, failures and lessons throughout my teenage to adult years.

Starting the decade, I was 14 years old and a freshman in high school. I had one thing on my mind then: collegiate softball. I paid no attention to my school’s culture, boys or much else. I knew my goal, and I was trying everything possible to achieve that goal.

At the beginning of the decade, I had four things I cared about in my life: family, friends, softball and school.

2010: 14/15

I joined my first travel softball team, Xtreme Fastpitch, out of Pickerington. I was thrown into a new teenage culture that I was not conformed to, or even knew in the slightest because it was so different than my little-town high school.

I was introduced to girls who were city-raised and rich. I was introduced to the idealistic looks they had, and the ones they thought everyone else should have to.

My teammates drove convertibles, Hummers, Cadillacs, and kept that attitude along with them on the field. Through all of that trouble, I met a coach who taught me the strategies of softball at an almost telepathic level, but it works and helps me everyday.

My friends back at my hometown high school were shrinking and growing into new groups. My childhood best friend since Kindergarten was growing away from me. It upset me then, but I found a lifelong friend in that year. I leaned on her, not knowing how much she would impact my life within the next few years, but she did. I was growing into a new person, leaving behind the kind of people I did not like in the past.

My softball life at school was a tough political race. I knew of my skill; I was playing on a high-level summer ball team, but I had the unfortunate luck of being younger than a top-notch known pitcher in the state. So, I kept my practice alive and played on the junior varsity team.

That experience was expected to be nothing in terms of help, but to my surprise, I played under a coach who became a mentor and someone who was and still is there for me whenever I need him.

After one full year of the decade, nothing had influenced my goal to play in college. My dad and I were on my mound in the backyard almost every night, counting up the strikes. If I missed a spot, he would say, “Start all over.” I had no boy distractions, no family troubles, nothing; just the all-time want to be a star pitcher.

2011: 15/16

My sophomore year in high school was a rushing one. I continued to play softball every day. I was working out consistently to strive toward my goal. I met a mentor this year, my lifting coach, who now is still a mentor and will help me no matter the issue.

I changed to a new travel ball team this year, Road Runners. Joining this team exceled me past a speed bump with going up toward the college ladder. I met another coach who I still hug and chat up about the best sport with when we meet.

I began taking action toward getting to college this year. I went to recruiting camps throughout the year, learning the ways of the college athletic system. Some of the coaches I met at universities still know me and are acquaintances in the softball world I have created.

I played in the most prestigious recruiting camp, the Queen of Diamonds, both the north tournament and the south.

In the north tournament, I met wonderful people from Pennsylvania, who gave me more information about the Division II league in their state.

In the south tournament, my mother and I drove to South Carolina for this three-day tournament. I did not want to go to school, but we just went for the trip itself, which I see now as a wonderful bonding time with my mother.

I took my father to an Indians game this summer. We had bleacher seats behind left field and my favorite player, Michael Brantley. It was the seventh inning when I looked at my dad and said, “You know, it would be an awesome job just to sit at sporting events all day and write about it.” He replied, “Then do it.” That is when I decided I wanted to be a Sports Reporter.

I got my license this year. My parents gave me a 1999 Volkswagen Beetle; all royal blue. It was a manual, so, after some long months of anger with my father, I had learned how to drive that car.

I still was playing down on junior varsity this year for softball, but it grew the bond that my coach and I had.

Once again, this year was goal-driven and non-distracted from boys, family or life.

2012: 16/17

My junior year in high school changed my life out of routine in multiple ways. Throughout my life, up to this point, I was known as Emily Moore: the softball player and cheerleader. This was the year that “cheerleader” was cut from my title.

My heart broke a little, but my dad was there for me to glue the pieces together. It was the first time I had experienced disappointment to a high degree.

That disappointment grew when it came to softball season. The high-level pitcher had graduated, so I was expected to be the varsity pitcher from most people. Yet, I was still not a senior, so there was one more ahead of me.

It struck confusion into my mind as I was receiving offers from colleges wanting me to come play for them, but I was not pitching for my own high school.

My travel softball team was a flop, so I became a part of a new one, Ohio Edge. Edge was the perfect travel ball team that I had waited years for. The girls and I were like sisters, and my coaches are still very close friends of mine. Their education on the game expanded my knowledge to a point I can never thank them enough.

My life goal was close to being complete this year, despite the hard times in my hometown. This was the year I had the mindset to ignore everything from my hometown and focus on the future. I was a little bit of a bitch about it, making it known that I did not care in the slightest when people tried to bring up something good about the school and town. It got to the point that I was two days away from transferring to a different high school, just to get out of the small-town culture. Only one thing held me back from tat decision: college coaches don’t recruit quitters.

2013: 17/18

This was it, this was the year I accomplished my goal. I was still a member of the Ohio Edge team, before the folded and I had to finish out my travel ball days as a substitute player for random teams. I was the senior varsity pitcher for my high school team (finally).

This November, days after I had turned 18, I signed the National Letter of Intent to play for the University of Pittsburgh-Johnstown. I signed this letter one month after I had seen the campus.

I remember traveling up to Pennsylvania to go try out for California University of Pennsylvania’s softball team. I was for sure that I would be playing for the Vulcans and attending that school. My mother had driven me to the school for the try out.

We got on campus and I was on the field, warming up for the game. I recall hearing the whispers from the current team in the dugout discussing my skill level and saying I was a good pitcher.

After that two-hour tryout, I met with the head coach who put me on the end of his fishing line telling me he would see what he could do about a scholarship.

One little secret I did not know was that during the couple of days before the tryout, and during the tryout, my mother was researching other schools in that league. Right after we left Cal, she mentioned a tryout to a school I had never heard of before, UPJ. I was dead-set that I was going to be a Vulcan, so I said it would be pointless to go to UPJ. She insisted anyway and we headed for Johnstown.

I had the mindset that I did not care for this school. I had the mindset for Cal. That all changed the second I stepped on campus. I fell in love with the place. It was a nature-oriented school. I loved nature. It was small and quaint. It was gorgeous.

We found the tryout and I pretty much just said, “Screw it, and let’s try.”

That was the best thing I could’ve done because, two days after that, I received my first full-commitment scholarship offer. I spent two hours on that campus, and within those two hours, the umpteen trips to Cal seemed insignificant. What can I say? Mother does know best.

It worked out for the best though. A week after the tryout, I received a call from Cal’s head coach declining me to join their team. I was at school, in my favorite class, art, when I received the call. I had my phone on silent, so I did not hear it ring. Everyone knew I was expecting a call, so when I looked at my phone and saw a voicemail from him, I went straight outside to listen.

I still have that voicemail saved on my phone today. I did not tell anyone in the art room what the phone call was. I could not let them see my sadness. But, I knew my decision was UPJ at the same.

This was the year that began my first love. I met a baseball boy who made me smile. He was funny and we got along. We had a long few months of being close friends in this year.

2014: 18/19

This year was a big one. I graduated high school. I gave everything to a boy within a summer. I went off to college. I played college softball. I traveled to Minneapolis, Wisconsin and Chicago. I saw Wrigley Field and Target Field.

My mother and I had a summer of being best friends, traveling from state to state and enjoying the time together.

Once I got to college, I had the 5 a.m. conditioning workouts. I had a strict coach. I had roommate issues. I was thrown into a lot of situations that made college seem like it was not worth it.

To make matters worse, my brother began dating a girl who I knew was not going to be good, but it was still early in the relationship, so I, and my family, were giving her the benefit of the doubt.

She was close to my age, so I knew what she was like after going to school with her for years; she was not a good person, but I couldn’t convince my parents or my brother of that.

I had the luck of being able to ignore it as I was in college in a different state and four hours away from it all, but I regret not being closer now after learning of the horrible things she and my brother put my parents through. I should’ve been there for them.

As a freshman in college, I had friends as my getaway. My softball friends were becoming my sisters, and I met another friend who is the best guy friend I could ever have, and still is. He was my venting rock. He was there and could make me laugh and get my mind off of the sad.

I began becoming a Sports Reporter here, taking over the sports section of our campus newspaper. I would live in the News Room. I had so many people to look up to there. We were all striving to be the best we could be

I broke up with my first love this year, reasons stemming from my brother’s girlfriend. I was put in a situation to pick sides, and I avoided so by choosing neither. I chose to be alone and avoid as much of Ohio, college and softball as I could.

On breaks, I would travel home and my dad and I spent time together by going to our favorite band concerts. We saw Motley Crue in their farewell tour and that was the night I realized that nothing could change my dad from being a best friend to me.

It was the roughest year of my decade, but the coming to the crease at the bottom only meant that it was time to climb to the highest point next.

2015: 19/20

My optimism on college getting better did not happen. I was put in a tough living situation, but I did what I knew best: avoid. I would devote my time to other friends. The enjoyment of my life was getting away from campus and going back home, basically the opposite of the year before.

When I did go home though, my parents and I would get closer and closer because we only had each other to help through the worse things my brother and his girlfriend were putting us through.

I was threatened by her to be put in jail. She would text me telling me my brother did not love my family or me and wanted nothing to do with us. She tried to get Pennsylvania police to arrest me for an entirely false accusation that I was a drug dealer. I thought I had it bad, but my parents had it worse from her, but I did not know that then.

My parents and I avoided spending holidays at the house by traveling down to our family in Florida for Thanksgiving and New Year’s.

Christmas was hard without my brother. My family in Florida, Delaware, Montana and Minnesota knew our troubles, so we all met in Florida for New Year’s and to watch my cousin play in a bowl game as a Florida Gator, and we all met in Florida during the summer.

Each time we did travel down to Florida, my mom and I would drive. That was more time we had together that I wish we could do all over again. My dad would follow behind a few days later by driving with my grandparents.

My relatives and I became close for the first time in our lives this year. My cousins from Delaware knew, but did not bring it up, the broken heart I had of not having a brother anymore, so they both stepped up and took that role on to help and be the brothers to me.

This year, I lost my childhood dog, Cocoa, and my other two months later, Dottie.

One thing I learned in 2015 was the lesson that family is everything. That was my first tattoo.

2016: 20/21

My junior year of college provided more struggles in my favorite sport. I had a new coach and a new challenge to face every day with her. This was the year I gained a best friend, and another in a roommate.

I began to lose the love for softball this year. I did not want to go to practice, or play games. I began turning to other things for joy, which gave me another love in a boy.

With him, I was introduced to the cliché college drinking life. He was a part of a fraternity, so I basically became part of that frat. Within that house, I was with my best guy friend again and I was finding friendships in the brothers. That house was my escape from my anger at softball.

I turned 21 this year, which accelerated my drinking habits. It was every week, from Thursday through Sunday, I was with, or close to alcohol. I never let it get to an alcoholic point, but looking back at it now, I think I had a super power. I was able to drink from 9 a.m. on weekends, get a practice and game in during the day, and then continue drinking by 5 p.m. until 3 a.m. Then it started again the next day.

I began finding so much joy in college during the weekends that I hardly traveled home anymore, excepting breaks.

In the fall, I watched my first October baseball game live, with my frat boy. I watched my favorite team, the Cleveland Indians defeat the Boston Red Sox to head to the World Series. I watched David Ortiz play his last game, which made my baseball love more.

My cousin was playing for the Cincinnati Bengals and my family from all over came to Ohio for him. It was a wonderful family time in that city.

This summer was honestly my favorite because I went on a girl’s trip with teammates to Ocean City. I barely remember that trip.

My father and I went to more and more concerts: Def Leppard and Guns N’ Roses. He and I became closer this summer.

My family and I took the chance to go visit our cousin in Maine and take a four-day cruise on his pirate ship (schooner) around the islands of Maine. My parents and I went, my aunt from Delaware, grandfather, and Montana relatives. Living like a pirate gave me a lot of lobster and a lot of alcohol. It was worth it, depite the fact that I was literally facing my biggest fear of being on a boat without land close. That is what the alcohol helped with.

I was interning as a Reporter during the summer, for a local paper and for a local baseball team. I was really beginning to plant my roots of being a Sports Reporter. More was added when I interned for the local newspaper in my college town, covering high school football games.

The year ended by crossing something off of my bucket list. My frat boyfriend and I went to Times Square and watched the ball drop for New Year’s Eve. It was the worst decision of my life. I waited in the middle of the road on 7th Street for nine hours, unable to eat, drink or leave. If I did leave, I would’ve had to go all the way back to the end of the line at Central Park, 48 blocks back.

It was a hard wait, but I can at least say I have done it.

2017: 21/22

My brother came back this year. My family and I were hesitant toward him, but were thankful. He brought a new girl into our family. I was cold to her at first because of my fear from our last experience. Over time, and with probably a lot of patience from her, I welcomed her and have been thankful for that ever since. I can call her a close friend now.

My dad and I accomplished a life goal of seeing our favorite band live, Metallica, at Rock on the Range.

I checked another thing off of my bucket list this year, seeing Yankee Stadium. I saw it with my then boyfriend, and we spent memorable times in New York City and New Jersey this summer.

This year was not much of an exciting one; I was just content with life. I had a brother again, I learned not to care so much about problems that don’t affect me and I was enjoying my time in college. It was all joy.

2018: 22/23

What a year this one was.

My boyfriend and I broke up two weeks before graduating. After graduating college, I played my last ever softball game (or so I thought). It was cold and snowing, but having my parents, brother, grandparents, and a surprise appearance of my best friend of an aunt made the night worth it. My best friend who had graduated came back and everyone I loved was there.

After the game completed and I had thrown my last pitch. My dad came on to the field, hugged me and said, “How about we start all over?”

After that night, I hit a wall. I was depressed without a boyfriend. It was the first time it was hitting me because everything happened at super speed before.

I was debating about dropping everything and taking a trip by train somewhere. I began as a pitching coach for about a month before I received the opportunity of a lifetime.

With one call with long-ago friend from Queen of Diamonds, I was heading to The Netherlands to play softball, as a professional.

Those three months of the summer consisted of me playing at a high level, learning more about the game from top coaches.

I met a coach from New Zealand who was a mentor; I met girls who played for Great Britain who became life-long friends. My coach from New Zealand was the coach who got me to love softball again. He showed me side of the game that no other coach had enlightened me with; he showed me the fun again...when I needed it most. For that, I thank my Kiwi friend forever.

Despite living with a host family who rubbed me the wrong way with some attitudes, self-pride and unnecessary, subtle insults, it was a lovely summer.

I traveled multiple countries in this summer during a two-week Holiday stint. One of my best friends, who was also there for softball, and I backpacked around Belgium, France, Switzerland and Germany.

In Belgium, my distant cousin welcomed us into their home. His wife was almost at the point of birth, so we were only there for a few days. We then took the train to Paris. I remember getting off the bus in the industrial part of the city, but after a day of walking, my friend and I had explored the entirety of it…but then almost missing our hotel reservation and would’ve had to sleep on the streets.

We left Paris the next day and took off for southeastern France, aka, Wine Country. My friend had family there, so we stayed with them for about four days. He distant grandmother did not speak any English, so that was an adventure within itself. I have never been as drunk as I was than those four days in Alsace, France. We drank from 9 a.m. everyday, until we went to sleep at 11 p.m.

After wine time, my friend and I headed to Interlaken, Switzerland. My cousin’s husband is Swiss, so I had texted him advice on where to go, and he said Interlaken. I remember opening my eyes, looking out the window and immediately crying at the sight of the Swiss Alps. It was pure bliss in my mind.

A lot of people backpacked to that town, so we met up with a group of people who formed the group that weekend in Interlaken. It consisted of two from Philly, one from northern Netherlands, and another from Poland. The Netherlands friend turned out to be a little more than just a friend that summer; he was an international romance.

After we left and I was depressed, we went to Munich, Germany to drink more beer, visit Dachau Concentration Camp, and in my case, get food poisoning.

I did not let the sickness get to me, as I still drank and ate, but that was probably not the best idea.

We also took a two-hour train ride from Munich to Fussen where we saw Neushwantein Castle, aka, Disney’s canvas. We hiked up a mountain and saw our childhood dream of a princess castle. We left there and realized we were out of money, so our Holiday was cut short and we went back to Belgium.

When we got back to my cousin’s, his wife was in labor and we left an hour later for Holland.

I got my first job at the end of this year, as a News Reporter for a small-town paper. After a month, I had moved on from that job.

2019: 23/24

At the very beginning of the year, I was asked to substitute as the Sports Reporter for a sister paper of ours. That paper was closer to my hometown, so I knew the area and teams pretty well. The Sports Editor was on maternity leave and I was just planned to help out for three months. After a month and a half, the mother decided not to come back full-time, so I became the Sports Editor.

I had already built working relationships with the coaches and other media, so it was an easy transition. I loved my job, and I loved my life. I got to visit my friends in Pittsburgh regularly, and they would visit me.

By February, I had got my own apartment in a city close to Columbus, Ohio. It was a small apartment, but it was mine. I accelerated my coaching career by gaining new clients, and forming a 14u travel ball team. I became a mentor to young players, something I take to my heart because I love my girls more than the game of softball.

In the summer, I got in a head-on crash driving back from a track meet. I had that car for two months before it was totaled. It was certainly the most fearful moment of my life, but I turned out okay.

Over the summer, I got the chance to go on another Ocean City trip with my best friends for the weekend. I remember more this time as I have grown out of the constant-drinking phase.

The summer went by slowly. I was enjoying life. Coaching one day, I had a small kitten run across a highway to me on the field. He tried to jump through a fence, but got stuck. It was a Sunday, so the animal shelter was closed. Guess what? I got a cat.

I bought a new car with my own money in the fall, and moved into a new apartment within the same week. I took on the title of Assistant Editor for three publications in our company, but still was the ultimate Sports Editor. I changed the face of our paper’s sports section with social media activity, voting and contests. The love I have for my job pushed me to advance the experience as much as I could.

____________________

Now that the decade is over, I look back and I realize that I have accomplished everything I had ever wanted, and then some. I wanted to play college softball; I did. I went on to play professionally and coach. I saw parts of the world. I have a job I love and a family I love more.

The decade was a roller coaster to say the least, but the ups and downs made it worth it now that I see where life has put me. With all of my goals accomplished, now I just either have to wait for life to put me in the right place again, or maybe I will strive to put myself where I want to be, and maybe more.

My four things are still pretty consistent too. 1) Family 2) Friends 3) Career 4) Softball

What's next?